Yes. That’s right, folks. Neocons everywhere can rejoice at the late-but-apt apology that Portia De Rossi delivered on Jimmy Kimmel. They no longer must live in fear and pain because of the horrors beset them by the erstwhile unapologized marriage of Portia De Rossi and Ellen Degeneres, and the many other gays and lesbians who we last year. It was a terrible blow to humanity that confused teens everywhere might find courage to be who they really are, all because a few free-thinking, high-profile gays decided that they needed to make life-long commitments to the ones they love. Shame on them.
Thanks to the kind people of California, and the protesters from other states who know best the biggest problems of our society, gays can continue to live their unfettered lives, knowing that our government continues to uphold only the ideals of the loudest religious voices. We’re all free to know that freedom means different things to different people.
We can rest assured that marriage is kept out of the reckless hands of gays in lifelong relationships, and held proudly as the privilege and standard for the many God-fearing, heterosexual couples that Sarah Palin’s conservativism upholds. God bless Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston. Long may they…
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